Forever

When I see your face, i freeze up like a statue. Time goes by like it should but my body stands here like a tree. I feel the wind and I hear voices, but my nerves and my brain are not connected.

As I force myself to act normal, a million memories wash over my body like a dam busting through the walls. I get so hot that it makes me feel like I am in the desert, dying due to the heat.

I get weak in the knees and it feels like I have no knee-caps. Where did they go? You can say one word and that side grin, and all the air i sucked in to remind me I need to breath, is knocked out of me like being punched out of me over and over again.

You wave your hand and the memories of holding that hand flashes through like a slid-show. Remembering every moment, the feel of you squeezing my hand, making me smile, puts a smile on my face. Which is good because you think im smiling at you.

Step by step and we are getting closer. Looking into your eyes, knowing and preparing for the consequence, I melt inside and out. Why and how did I get like this?

Has God done this for a reason?

One year, a hunderds miles away and not being able to see you, everythings changed. I don't think about you because I have moved on.

Im so thankful that God put you in my life and that He gave us the experiense of eachothers presence. We helped eachother out in so many ways that all I can say is that you are truly a blessing.

You were put in my life for some crazy reason God thought would help, and He was right. Now when I see you, I feel the love of friendship that can not be broken or torn down.

Everywhere I go, there is a piece of you in me and you will be wherever I go. I will smile and laugh inside, but will always be thinking of you as my best friend.

Breaking Free

-You are my light and my salvation, so why am I afraid? 27:1 My heart is afraid to feel again. Is it a mind thing or am I really afraid? My poor heart is locked up, like in a dungeon.It is surrounded by the memories of pain. As the blood flows through my veins surrounding my heart, it pushes the wire fence deeper and deeper where it reminds me not to feel anything but pain.My heart tries to cry out, but gets stuck in my throat. I want to cut my throat so you can hear the cries. It needs to be heard, but again, Im afraid. My heart wants to be able to be free like a Dove and fly, fly away and be free. It wants to be able to relax and understand the meaning of trust and love. It wants to be laid in Your hands and to able to feel the wind blow, feel the sun shine and to breathe.Another sharp pain, and the happiness goes away. Still in the same place.It was only a dream. A dream. When will this dream come true? My heart has Faith and knows You are looking for us, to relieve this pain. Nothing can cure this pain but the sound of Your voice and the touch of Your hands.My heart and I will not be afraid one day. We count the seconds that go by that Your coming.Believing in You and God are the only thing keeping us alive.So if You can, please hurry because this pain is killing us.>I need You...I want You...I Love You...I won't be afraid to Love You.