I'm sitting on the couch with one twin in my lap who is sprawled all over me and has fallen asleep, one twin in the rock-n-play asleep and my 3 year old in her room. I'm starting at the twins thinking, 'how did I get this lucky?', 'what does my life have in-store now?', 'how can I show them equal love and not favor one more than the other?'...so many questions. And I ha e no answer but to go day by day. When I was I pregnant with my 1st, I told myself what we would have planned in the next 2, 4, 6 years ahead of us. But when the twins surprised us, I don't think about the future anymore. I'm cherishing every day like it's my last with these girls.
Then I think, how can I love these girls equally? They each have a different personality already! 3 year old loves to play, twin L loves to snuggle and twin R likes the attention. They are perfect in God's eyes and I pray everyday I can give them the love and show them love, like my mother did and has for my sister and I.
Being a mom of twins is awesome. It's like a inner self challenge with myself seeing what I can prove to the world I can do. And then being a mom of all girls, is stressful lol. Thinking of the future for dresses, dates, weddings, cars.....i guess that's why I don't think in the future no more lol!! The only thing I wish is, i wish I had a 3rd arm so I could hold all 3 girls at one time 💜
The best thing in my accomplishments so far, is carrying 3 beautiful girls that I get to call mine, forever! Xoxo
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Monday, April 10, 2017
Struggling Moms
I saw this inspiring video from moms who have a hard time raising their kids and wanted to share the encouraging words. Single moms, moms of multiples-you are worth every tear drop, every spanking you give-even in the moment where they 'hate' you.
This is for the moms who hide in the bathroom because she needs peace for a minute;
to the mom crying after she yelled at her kid because she feels guilty; to the mom who wants to fit in those skinny jeans again and feel good about herself for a minute; to the mom's who ordered/pick up take out because dinner didn't go the way you planned it would or your to tired to cook from working all day-it's ok!; to the mom who feels alone in a room by herself or standing in the middle of a crowd while people walk by:
You ARE enough
You ARE important
You ARE worthy
this phase of life is hard, it's challenging and super crazy. They will push your buttons to see how far you can go. But in the end, it will all be worth it. Those little eyes that look at you, think your perfect, they think your more than enough. Those little hands that reach out to hold you, think you are the strongest. They think you can cure every "boo boo", because you are enough, you are more than enough-your MOM!
I know I have moments where my toddler likes to push my buttons and I yell at her more now than I did before my 2nd round. She is a very strong-willed and smart mouth 3 year old. Watching that video and reading those words help me see it in her eyes. She's learning something new everyday and looking up to me to explain it to her and teach her as well. Some days I pick her up and squeeze the pee out of her to let her know even though we argue and bicker, I will always love her. Our saying is "I love you thiiiiiis much"
Ladies: always remember they are young, some need more mommy time with you, Don't huff and puff around them, they see and can mimic you.
Facebook Posts
It's taken me a couple days of pondering if I should even post about this. It aggravates me and I might get frowned upon, but I don't care.
Social media has really jerked my chain. Let me clarify, and no need for rude/debating comments-this is my opinion and blog. I am a Christian, I pray, listen to KLOVE, have faith and share Christian verses/posts. But these ridiculous post that says: 'I have 'such and such', no one wants to pray for me because of it. Please Share and like for $1".
SERIOUSLY?!
Why can't they just ask to be prayed for or to donate to them instead of saying stuff like that? That's why people call Christans hypocrites or are always saying something negative about us!!! All that does it get to make people feel guilty or sorry. Why do that? I sun differently than everyone but that's pretty low.
1) That makes me ashamed of my brother and sister to re-post stuff like that. 2) i will continue to pray for the ones that are asking for prayer, healing , or confort but i wont repost those kind of childish schemes.
Sorry to be so negative but that's one thing that really gets under my skin!
Social media has really jerked my chain. Let me clarify, and no need for rude/debating comments-this is my opinion and blog. I am a Christian, I pray, listen to KLOVE, have faith and share Christian verses/posts. But these ridiculous post that says: 'I have 'such and such', no one wants to pray for me because of it. Please Share and like for $1".
SERIOUSLY?!
Why can't they just ask to be prayed for or to donate to them instead of saying stuff like that? That's why people call Christans hypocrites or are always saying something negative about us!!! All that does it get to make people feel guilty or sorry. Why do that? I sun differently than everyone but that's pretty low.
1) That makes me ashamed of my brother and sister to re-post stuff like that. 2) i will continue to pray for the ones that are asking for prayer, healing , or confort but i wont repost those kind of childish schemes.
Sorry to be so negative but that's one thing that really gets under my skin!
Sunday, April 2, 2017
A Walmart daughter
Friday after work, I got to run a mile outside before picking up the kiddos. On the way over to mom's, I stopped by WM to get a couple things. I stopped by the women's work out clothes to get a new outfit for losing some weight for motivation! (Every excuse works ;) ) I walked over to the workout pants and there was a woman standing there. At first I was in my own little world and didn't pay any attention until she said she loved my Capri work out pants. I said thank you and so the conversation took off from there. I found a pair that she liked and kept encouraging her to try them on/get them. She was nervous and I told her she'd look great in them and to feel confident in them! She looked so relieved when I told her this. I mean I was selling these pants like I worked there! I even offered to go with her to the changing room and tell her yes or no, probably freaked her out but I wanted her to feel comfortable in them and confident.
It was nice getting to talk to a total stranger and not feel scared or uncomfortable. The reason I'm writing about this is what she said to me: "thank you so much! My husband would love you for encouraging me to get these. I only have sons and it was nice having a daughter for a minute".
Let me tell you, that warmed my heart more than a piece of pecan pie!! Moments like that make me appreciate my personality. I love helping and talking to anyone and I hope I helped raise that woman's confident and motivation.
So don't be afraid in life to talk to a stranger about anything! You never know what they are going through, have/don't have, or ever experienced it. I hope to see her again in the future.
Xx
It was nice getting to talk to a total stranger and not feel scared or uncomfortable. The reason I'm writing about this is what she said to me: "thank you so much! My husband would love you for encouraging me to get these. I only have sons and it was nice having a daughter for a minute".
Let me tell you, that warmed my heart more than a piece of pecan pie!! Moments like that make me appreciate my personality. I love helping and talking to anyone and I hope I helped raise that woman's confident and motivation.
So don't be afraid in life to talk to a stranger about anything! You never know what they are going through, have/don't have, or ever experienced it. I hope to see her again in the future.
Xx
Thursday, March 30, 2017
How I dated my ex husband, again..
I am telling my story of how I got married, had a baby, went through some verbal/mental abuse, divorced, moved in with the rents, started dating him again after 6 months after the divorce and now we have 3 beautiful girls, have a beautiful little home and we are happy as ever and not married!....say what?? Yep, it is possible. It is possible to be in a relationship with your ex husband and not have to worry about getting remarried.
We were only married for 2 years before we got a divorce. Yes that was a short time and didn't make it past the " 7 years are the hardest". Well tough crap, it ain't for everyone. Everyone's got different problems and can handle them differently. It started with his hot temper and hot head. I saw the red flags but ignored it and all my family saying what I already knew. Now he never hit me! but the fights were close to throwing items at each other after he came back home from a 10 month deployment. We tried marriage counseling, journaling and trying to talk to each other. It didn't work cause I was at the point of moving on and letting go. He tried, he did but I was already gone before I knew it. During the time of getting paper work filed and trying not to get a lawyer things got worse before it got better. We recorded each conversation so we could use against each other! I mean for real we hated each other. Right before we had the papers in sight and pen in our hands, we looked at each other and he said it didn't have to be this way but I said yes it does. (now in my head, I promise I had a plan!) It had to be done for him to get a reality check on what he wanted between us, family and what he wanted in life. And it worked! Now here are the bad outcomes to my plan..1) I never wanted a divorce. I wanted a long marriage with 1 person for the rest of my life, like we promised in our vows. 2) My streak of marriage was over. 3) I was going to be a single mom 4) I got "frowned upon" from some family members from both sides and 5) I had to share my daughter with him. But for this to hopefully work, I had to play all the bad memories to get me through that moment. After it was signed, the judge granted our wishes, it was done. I kept his last name for my daughters sake.
2 months after that had taken place, I began to miss the A hole like crazy! I kept going to my counselor and journaling. She told me, I was over the "little problems that I made the big problems" and she was right. I don't know how many times I made a little problem a huge one and that one part was my fault. After my sessions with her, I finally apologized to him about that. He told me numerous times that I was doing that and I would ignore him. Not only did I apologize, he did to. He said he finally understood what he had and lost it. He had a family, something he has always wanted and he did not put his full effort into saving it when he knew what to do.
After the apologizes and prayers, we started dating! We would make time to meet in the mornings before I went to work to get breakfast and spend 30 min just talking/catching up. I tell you, it was weird at first. It was like dating someone new all over again, but it was still him! He had changed into the man and father I needed him to be! He was more dedicated into us this time then he was in the beginning and I was too. Of course our family was capital P-issed! But you know, it wasn't about them, it was about us, our happiness and our family. I've been giving this advice to little couples who are about to get married or married couples who are going through what I went through cause I can relate: "don't stress over the little things", "pick your battles" (with your kids and husband I swear!). Today We are so happy and love each other more everyday then we did 4 years ago.
Now will we ever re-marry? I don't know. When I think about it, I cringe. I just flashback to all the bad memories we had as a "married" couple, which I shouldn't- I know.. But when I look at us now, we've come along way and we've not fought near as much as we did while married. SO that being said, I go day by day on that one. I'm not planning a future wedding I might have, or hounding him to it cause we are so happy now and each day is something new that we are taking for granted. We've got our family in one house, I still wear my wedding ring, do all the laundry and cooking of course......but we still spend time together. And spending time is what makes the relationship working.
So my tips on how I date my ex-husband lol... Don't stop dating! Don't stop talking! Pick your battles! and Don't stress over the little things!
XoXo!
We were only married for 2 years before we got a divorce. Yes that was a short time and didn't make it past the " 7 years are the hardest". Well tough crap, it ain't for everyone. Everyone's got different problems and can handle them differently. It started with his hot temper and hot head. I saw the red flags but ignored it and all my family saying what I already knew. Now he never hit me! but the fights were close to throwing items at each other after he came back home from a 10 month deployment. We tried marriage counseling, journaling and trying to talk to each other. It didn't work cause I was at the point of moving on and letting go. He tried, he did but I was already gone before I knew it. During the time of getting paper work filed and trying not to get a lawyer things got worse before it got better. We recorded each conversation so we could use against each other! I mean for real we hated each other. Right before we had the papers in sight and pen in our hands, we looked at each other and he said it didn't have to be this way but I said yes it does. (now in my head, I promise I had a plan!) It had to be done for him to get a reality check on what he wanted between us, family and what he wanted in life. And it worked! Now here are the bad outcomes to my plan..1) I never wanted a divorce. I wanted a long marriage with 1 person for the rest of my life, like we promised in our vows. 2) My streak of marriage was over. 3) I was going to be a single mom 4) I got "frowned upon" from some family members from both sides and 5) I had to share my daughter with him. But for this to hopefully work, I had to play all the bad memories to get me through that moment. After it was signed, the judge granted our wishes, it was done. I kept his last name for my daughters sake.
2 months after that had taken place, I began to miss the A hole like crazy! I kept going to my counselor and journaling. She told me, I was over the "little problems that I made the big problems" and she was right. I don't know how many times I made a little problem a huge one and that one part was my fault. After my sessions with her, I finally apologized to him about that. He told me numerous times that I was doing that and I would ignore him. Not only did I apologize, he did to. He said he finally understood what he had and lost it. He had a family, something he has always wanted and he did not put his full effort into saving it when he knew what to do.
After the apologizes and prayers, we started dating! We would make time to meet in the mornings before I went to work to get breakfast and spend 30 min just talking/catching up. I tell you, it was weird at first. It was like dating someone new all over again, but it was still him! He had changed into the man and father I needed him to be! He was more dedicated into us this time then he was in the beginning and I was too. Of course our family was capital P-issed! But you know, it wasn't about them, it was about us, our happiness and our family. I've been giving this advice to little couples who are about to get married or married couples who are going through what I went through cause I can relate: "don't stress over the little things", "pick your battles" (with your kids and husband I swear!). Today We are so happy and love each other more everyday then we did 4 years ago.
Now will we ever re-marry? I don't know. When I think about it, I cringe. I just flashback to all the bad memories we had as a "married" couple, which I shouldn't- I know.. But when I look at us now, we've come along way and we've not fought near as much as we did while married. SO that being said, I go day by day on that one. I'm not planning a future wedding I might have, or hounding him to it cause we are so happy now and each day is something new that we are taking for granted. We've got our family in one house, I still wear my wedding ring, do all the laundry and cooking of course......but we still spend time together. And spending time is what makes the relationship working.
So my tips on how I date my ex-husband lol... Don't stop dating! Don't stop talking! Pick your battles! and Don't stress over the little things!
XoXo!
A Mothers Dilemma
What crap this is..
I've worked an 8 hour shift today, I did a 30 min walk around the block after work to get my exercise in, I go to pick up my kids from my moms, spend an hour there, drove 30 min home and my kids are asleep by 8pm! What the hell??o Now don't get me wrong, I like me some "me time" and drink a glass of wine/beer every now and then but seriously? Days like today I want to hear my girls laughter, cook them dinner and hold them. So back to the topic: on average, I'm spending 10 hours a week (mon-fri) with my kids? Freaking ridiculous!
How are working moms suppose to be a mom to their kids if they have to work 8-12 hours a day and then pick them up from school/daycare/caregivers and enjoy time with them when they have to focus on: baths/showers, dinner, homework, potty training, feeding babies, changing diapers, doing laundry and trying to gather your wits? Some nights, I forget to eat myself cause I am so wrapped up in making sure the kids get food, changed, a bath -if they're lucky, sometimes mom has to give the baths cause I'm so tired from work- and making sure I have clean scrubs for the next!
I don't know what the secret is but I'd love to know how to be a SAHM (stay at home mom). How do they make an income to help pay bills?
I just wish I could be making the memories my mom is with my kids. They are only little for so long and I don't get to cherish these moments as much as I'd like to. Until the Lord guides me to where I can be a SAHM, I get to do this freaking dilemma all over again tomorrow...
I've worked an 8 hour shift today, I did a 30 min walk around the block after work to get my exercise in, I go to pick up my kids from my moms, spend an hour there, drove 30 min home and my kids are asleep by 8pm! What the hell??o Now don't get me wrong, I like me some "me time" and drink a glass of wine/beer every now and then but seriously? Days like today I want to hear my girls laughter, cook them dinner and hold them. So back to the topic: on average, I'm spending 10 hours a week (mon-fri) with my kids? Freaking ridiculous!
How are working moms suppose to be a mom to their kids if they have to work 8-12 hours a day and then pick them up from school/daycare/caregivers and enjoy time with them when they have to focus on: baths/showers, dinner, homework, potty training, feeding babies, changing diapers, doing laundry and trying to gather your wits? Some nights, I forget to eat myself cause I am so wrapped up in making sure the kids get food, changed, a bath -if they're lucky, sometimes mom has to give the baths cause I'm so tired from work- and making sure I have clean scrubs for the next!
I don't know what the secret is but I'd love to know how to be a SAHM (stay at home mom). How do they make an income to help pay bills?
I just wish I could be making the memories my mom is with my kids. They are only little for so long and I don't get to cherish these moments as much as I'd like to. Until the Lord guides me to where I can be a SAHM, I get to do this freaking dilemma all over again tomorrow...
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
An absolutely mix
Some days really sucks for me. I feel like a single mom of 3 girls cause the "hubs" works nights to support us. That being said there are days when I just want to give up, throw in the town, say what I really want to say to some people-even though it'll hurt their feelings and quit my job. But I can't.
I absolutely hate that I don't get to spend all day with my kids. I'm not mad at my mom for watching my kids, I'm absolutely jealous of her, in a good way. She gets to spend 8+ hours with them during the day, making memories, laughing, changing poopy diapers but that's suppose to be my job.
I absolutely hate that this society and economy has it where woman who want to be a stay at home mom (SAHM), can't! We have to help pay the damn bills. When I get off my 8-430 job, I only get 4-5 hours then it's bed then mornings all over again.
I absolutely love the weekends. I cherish every minute of spending time with them.
When I start to think about how jealous I am of my mom, I take a breathe and think I'm very thankful for her. Without her, if be paying my whole 2 wk paycheck for daycare for one week! Which that is absolutely ridiculous! I wouldn't be able to help pay the bills without her but then it's like a cycle again, I get mad cause of bills being so freaking expensive and high. Then I think how in the world are you suppose to spend time with family when you work 8 hour shifts starting at wee bit in the morning til almost dark and having other people/centers watch/take care of your family/kids. It absolutely sucks.
If I had a wish, I wish I could stay at home and watch my beautiful girls grow. So enough venting cause I feel little better, still sad, I'll pray one day I will get to be a SAHM!
I've started to be an online ambassador for BOD and I pray this takes off for me to be making a profit and I can quit my full-time job. Let's see where it leads!!
Xx
I absolutely hate that I don't get to spend all day with my kids. I'm not mad at my mom for watching my kids, I'm absolutely jealous of her, in a good way. She gets to spend 8+ hours with them during the day, making memories, laughing, changing poopy diapers but that's suppose to be my job.
I absolutely hate that this society and economy has it where woman who want to be a stay at home mom (SAHM), can't! We have to help pay the damn bills. When I get off my 8-430 job, I only get 4-5 hours then it's bed then mornings all over again.
I absolutely love the weekends. I cherish every minute of spending time with them.
When I start to think about how jealous I am of my mom, I take a breathe and think I'm very thankful for her. Without her, if be paying my whole 2 wk paycheck for daycare for one week! Which that is absolutely ridiculous! I wouldn't be able to help pay the bills without her but then it's like a cycle again, I get mad cause of bills being so freaking expensive and high. Then I think how in the world are you suppose to spend time with family when you work 8 hour shifts starting at wee bit in the morning til almost dark and having other people/centers watch/take care of your family/kids. It absolutely sucks.
If I had a wish, I wish I could stay at home and watch my beautiful girls grow. So enough venting cause I feel little better, still sad, I'll pray one day I will get to be a SAHM!
I've started to be an online ambassador for BOD and I pray this takes off for me to be making a profit and I can quit my full-time job. Let's see where it leads!!
Xx
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